i've been seeing a massage therapist to deal with the knots in my trapezius muscles. i'm inclined to carry tension there anyway, and then i was in a car accident (the day before gustav) which totaled my car and left me with a knot so big that it feels like bone when she moves over it. it's totally gross and i've named the knot 'peg.'
the therapist's name is donna and she's super cool. she's worked with l&e and has a degree in public health (international focus) - she got into massage after katrina - actually because of katrina. like, rebuilding new orleans one massage at a time.
anyway i talk a lot during the massage because it is not relaxing. the knots are intense and stubborn and i am really sensitive. talking helps me think of things other than her elbow digging into my knotty muscle and that keeps me from tensing up my entire fucking body. (she's very considerate of my sensitivity, though.)
peg (the knot) gets smaller sometimes but after six massages it still hasn't gone away. every time i go back i keep hoping she'll be like "wow, this is much better." but instead i can feel the bone feeling of her rubbing over the knot and she's like "oh, man" and i am disappointed like i did a bad job. this is not because she makes me feel bad; i'm just, you know, a perfectionist.
i told her this today, about feeling like i did a bad job or didn't do my homework or something, and she laughed like "oh, no" - then she said she could tell i've been drinking more water. last week we talked about water and i said i was chronically dehydrated. she was like, "i know" - she can feel it in muscles - when they're dried out they feel like beef jerky, she said, and when they're hydrated they feel plump. so today she's like, "i can tell you drank water," just to make me feel better about still having knots in my shoulders. like i said, she's so cool.
in one of our first sessions, i asked why i always got tension in those spots, and she shared a few theories, and i offered mine, which is that i get tension in those spots because i'm neurotic.
she's like, "oh, no!" all being polite. and i'm like, "no, i am. i mean, i'm not saying i'm like woody allen or anything" and she started laughing.
she's like, "oh man, i'm trying to imagine what it would be like to massage woody allen. he would probably be one of those clients who constantly tells you what to do."
she plays soothing ambient 'music' during the massage - it's a combination ocean-sound/random-tone soundtrack. this week in the middle of the massage i asked her if she could hum it.
she's like, "can i what?"
hum it. can you hum along to this CD? like, if you tried, could you do it?
and she cracks up and is like, "the day i can hum along to this CD is the day i have to get far, far away from here..."
she said that sometimes she hears the music even when the CD is off. apparently it happens to the acupuncturist too.
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