don't beat your head against a wok: and other accidents

i.

many years ago on december 31, 2004, i joined facebook. shortly thereafter i started a facebook photo album which i titled 'you and me and everyone we know.'

some time later, while browsing the new releases in blockbuster, i came across an interesting-looking movie called me and you and everyone we know. and man, i was pissed.

no, i didn't see a preview and forget about it but the name stuck in my head. i made up 'you and me and everyone we know.' and miranda july made up 'me and you and everyone we know.' but she is famous and made a movie so she pretty much has dibs. it's annoying.

before that, i wrote a short story. i guess it was in the fall semester of 2004, because rikki and i were living together. i wrote a story from the first-person perspective of a middle-aged southern white dude. his wife was having kind of a hard time so she took to reading self-help books and inflicting pop psychology on her family. i titled it 'the only thing i know for sure,' which i didn't like too much because it reminded me of godawful wally lamb's i know this much is true.

well today i went to put bastard out of carolina on my amazon wishlist, and guess what i fucking found.

dorothy allison has another book: two or three things i know for sure.

god damn! it's a good fucking thing i retitled that story before submitting my grad school applications! though to be honest i have no idea what i called it. 'recovery,' i think.

no. haha. i just looked it up: 'remedy.'

god, between that and my recent discovery of author george singleton - who writes in, i don't know, the exact same voice as the one i used in that story - and the fact that my other submission was in second person a la lorrie moore -

i mean, i know 'there's nothing new under the sun' but come fucking on.

ii.

becca was sharing some notes with me from her art history class. the notes are mostly from one smart girl, but apparently the smart girl missed a few classes and had another classmate fill in the gaps.

this classmate is maybe not so smart (her notes often mention 'rodiron' detail - you know, the fancy black metal stuff on new orleans balconies...) but she's got a way with words.

my favorites:
-- unfeathered imagination
-- the emotional british pottery of shakespear

when i leave spain, i'm going to have to change my blog title. maybe these are contenders.

iii.

we're unlearning english.

in the previous post, i mention a rule for subjunctive tense in spanish - that if you've got an independent clause (e.g., "mom is pregnant") and you want to comment on the clause (e.g., "how great that mom is pregnant"), you need to use the subjunctive.

my workbook says you use subjunctive for "comentario o valoración." translating that to english, i wrote "comment or valoration." and i was convinced for about ten minutes that "valoration" was a real word in english. it should be a word. it sounds like a word. it makes sense to me.

in fact, valoration is not a word. wordreference recommended 'valuation' or 'evaluation.' i went with evaluation, but you know what? i like valoration better.

other words that are better in spanish:
tranquilo. pues. me falta. me apetece. the latter makes me want to say "it appetizes me" even though i could ostensibly use "it appeals to me" instead.

i consistently say 'intentar' when i mean 'probar' - both mean 'to try' - but intentar is to attempt, and probar is to taste.

i went shopping (or shopping-watching) with lisa and stevie today; we took a break at the ice cream place in puerta real. the nutella flavor me apeteció, and i stood at the counter repeating 'probar' to myself to avoid my usual error of asking to attempt a food. (al final i got a different flavor without trying it.)

i mentioned my problem to lisa, who told me she's got a spanish student who always says 'probe' in english for 'probar.'

as in, "can i probe that ice cream?"

also: today lisa suggested that we talk to a friend of mine and 'explain her' something.

new lows, my friends. these are new depths we've sunk to.

Comments

[daniel]

hooray george singleton!
and nutella flavored ice cream...highly intriguing, i would've probed it...

[Dominic]

one of my favorites was a guy in the buenos aires airport who asked if a seat was "busy."

[ann]

note: recent discovery via lennon of george singleton...thx lennon...<3

[becca]

my favorite was makenstopish.
oh, and school or ART!!!!!!

[matthew]

my french chefs at school would always say "ok, now i'm gonna explain you the (recipe or technique of the day).

i kinda of like the idea of 'attempting' a food. it makes me think of the first time i tried brie: i didn't like it so i decided there was something wrong with me and would eat it until i did. i now love brie.

isn't dave eggars writing a book called 'mr. binky boo boo?'